Friday, January 15, 2010

15th January 2010 - Damned

Time: 7:50pm After I signed out of Blogger in the morning, I packed and left home. When I reached the station, it was announced that the train's Expected Departure time has been delayed upto 5:30pm. I came back home, went to sleep. I woke up, and went to back to the station again, this time, a little early. My train's departure time has been postponed to 10:30pm. What followed is a battle between "I should do this" and "I don't want to do this". A lot of people participated in it. Finally, I am here, back home, blogging again. The trip to Delhi has been cancelled. I don't want to talk about it, not even to myself. I am furious with a few people right now, but then, the voice of reason shows me that the reasons of fury, are actually good signs. When the person who can re-define the meaning of care and concern for you, accuses you of not caring for her, and then, not caring for you herself, isn't it a good sign? When a person, who actually doesn't care about you, all of a sudden, is very determined to make you do something, for your own good, so much so, that it becomes suspicious, isn't it a good sign? When a person, who says that she is a responsible person, and you are her best friend, commits an act of unforgivable irresponsibility towards you, isn't it a good sign? When a person, who actually, consciously, prevented you from doing something, forces you to do it, this time, against your own wish, isn't it a good sign? Writing helps. Now, I know, it's not a few people, it's four people. Anyway, they don't know. About the Delhi trip, I never felt a thing, so I still don't feel a thing. If there's anyone I feel bad for, it's Sritama. And if there's anyone I feel good for, it's Picco. If I could have gone, it would be great, but then the forces of nature have plotted it this time. And I have more practical reasons to not to go to Delhi, now. I hope, Payal isn't right. I hope I can study now. I hope I am calm. (which I'm not at the moment, that's why the hope!)

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