2PM, 12th May 2010

I won’t give a damn anymore to dates, I won’t study, just because someone has an exam. I’m not studying anyway. Every time I wake up, or I go to bed, I plan to study, but I don’t. I’d rather write things such as this, or comment on things such as this, written by others, or do something or the other, that’s not concerned with Economics, my major, even remotely. The question is, why? I just woke up half an hour ago, found that there is no internet connection. I started writing. No, not the C programs, but a few rhymed lines and a prospective blog post (this) and a short story. It’s awfully hot and humid. Especially, inside my room, especially near my computer. And if there’s something I don’t mind doing in unpleasant climatic conditions, it’s this, not studies. There will be a time, in my next year, when I won’t have Computer Science at all, that I’ll be fascinated by the programming that I have in my present syllabi. But not now. It is something parents deserve to scold about. But then, if that’s happening with me, and I know other people with whom this happens, why should it be wrong? Who decides anyway? Aah, that’s always the usual question. I had a bad dream today. The usual sad thing happened. Marriage. That wasn’t bad. When I found my hopes unfulfilled, I resorted to evil ways. I turned into the typical villian of my story. That was the bad. I’m listening to Pearl Jam since last night. Their last album Backspacer. It’s good. Few songs are great, though. I’m trying to figure if there’s anything on my mind that I’d like to get down here. There’s only one thing. My Tweet last night. I need money because I need a legally approved, self-approved indentity proof. I’ll tackle everything else in life, on my own. For that matter, I think, I’ll get my identity on my own too. My parents have refused it right now. They’ve asked me try and be normal for one year, and then, they’ll probabaly think about it. I tried being normal for for more than a day. It felt abnormal. So, the cold war with Dad notwithstanding, I’m leading my own life. In my own terms. I don’t know if he’right when he claims that my lifestyle interferes with his lifestyle. Disha’s Mum once said that I have the right to make such a complaint too. The lifestyles, or the life-choices, whatever they are, that my parents (and grand-parent) made have interfered with my otherwise-normal upbringing. She thinks they affected me in a negative way. I think they affected me in a positive way. Back to the usual question, who decides? I’ve been calculating. If I wanted 5 lakhs within 10 months, I’d need 50000 a month. That’s not possible. I’ve gotta postpone it to three years, at least. That makes it 16,000-or-something-a-month. That is again, not possible, but it’s still lessser, and more achievable. On second thoughts, where will I keep the money, even if I manage to earn and save 16grand a month, for 3 years? I don’t want to have a bank account under Twisha Mukherjee. I already have one, unfortunately, which is a joint account with my mother, fortunately! I have to use that account. So, the money I put in has to be earned by ways that my mother approves of. What better way than “winning”? By labour, not luck. I’ll elaborate on my plan later. I made it last night, only. Once I’ve taken the frst step of the plan, I’ll talk about it here. I won’t win it under my name. I need friends, or brothers, who’ll volunteer to allow me to use their names, and later, give me the money, if won. That’s the third step. Long plan. I’ve had Chanachur for lunch again. I’ll go to the bathroom and try to have a bath now. The last time I did, there was no water. The previous time, there was no soap. And then, Anshul.