Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Jadavpur 8B Bus Stand, eh?
Why don't we film a documentary on the Jadavpur 8B Bus stand? It's the noisiest place in Kolkata, I bet. The idea came up while waiting there for an hour. We saw a couple breaking up; within minutes, we saw a guy propose a girl; then, after a few minutes again, we saw an old couple fighting over what to buy. We saw the begging-kids, who prey on good-looking girls mostly. (seriously, they avoid other girls, and avoid all guys!) Even amidst the ear-splitting noises of rickshaw-horns, and faulty auto-engines, the "story" of the place goes on un-interrupted. It's a copy paste, I wrote this to someone, in some comment, in reply to some other comment. I wrote this. I didn't mean it. I'm not allowed to film anything on the Jadavpur 8B Bus Stand. It would be too indicative! Too personal. It's the place, where it all started. 11th June, 2008. Damn, man. I haven't had alcohol for long! Picco is right. Oh, well, I've decided something. Like the most important decisions of my life, even this was taken in the first few minutes after I wake up. I'll go back to maintaining a journal-like account, the blog-every-hour thing. It's better. When I can write two paragraphs on how I spent half an hour, why should I write one paragraph on how I spent an entire week? I won't waste. I will write. Today is Sunday, 2nd May 2010, 1pm. I have started the day, by screwing things up. I wanted to return early from the customary night-walk; I didn't. I didn't want to miss teaching Anshul at 10am; I did. Result, I have to go to teach him at 4pm, which, again, I don't want to. Shauvik will be coming to my place, in my absence, to collect his books. My absence, is unplanned, un-intentional, again. I have to go shop for Ma's birthday today. Even though I'd made Disha understand, I couldn't avoid her Mum from accompanying me to buy a saaree for my mum. I want to do this alone, I don't want anyone to accompany me. I don't want any of my friends, or their mothers to accompany me. One might say, Disha is not a friend, but then, does her Mom share my mum, with me? I can allow Bhai alone to tell me what to buy, etc. Anyway, the fact that she seems to badly want to take me saaree-shopping, makes me feel, that she must have found something, really good. Something, that she feels, she'll regret if she doesn't show it to me. So, with high expectations, I'll be doing it today evening. It's against everything I want to and believe in, but, I've vowed not to let my own desires and thoughts affect my judgement. Anyway, circumstances will be blamed, if I fail. Mum's birthday is a very special occasion. I'm super-sensitive about it (Someone other than Mum made it super-sensitive, else it would have been just sensitive). Oh Gawd, I'll screw up today evening too. I know, I'll be furious, and I know I won't express it. And I won't be able to smoke, to swallow the anger away. Give me strength!